I think I was about… 6 or 7 years old when I watched the Bollywood movie, “Kuch Kuch Hota Hai”, starring the king of Bollywood(totally debatable), Shahrukh Khan. There was this one sequence in the movie, in which one of the characters was asked, “What is love?”. Now, I don’t know how everyone else around me reacted, but this hit me like a mad truck. I used to hear this word so often, mostly from my family, or hear it on the television. I had seen man-woman amorous scenes on the television, too. By then I was aware that there are different kinds of “love”s in the world. But then the actor in the movie, asked for a universal definition of love.
It really had me spinning.
It was like one of the those things that have been around forever, happening forever, but when you notice it for the first time, you can’t not notice it anymore. For instance, breathing. I have a vague memory as a 3-4 year old.. I remember playing with “building blocks” at least that’s what they were called back then and then I noticed this strange thing that I keep doing… breathing. I didn’t know it was “breathing” at the time, of course. So I couldn’t stop noticing myself doing it, and found it quite useless and annoying. So I tried to stop… needless to say, I couldn’t. Then I rushed to someone older in my family, and complained. I think they just laughed it off, which only confused me, more.
Similarly, once this subject of love caught my attention, I started noticing the use of the word love, everywhere around me. My English teacher introduced me to a new concept: to love is to give, and expect nothing in return. I gave this considerable amount of thought.
Then I learned of love for one’s nation, also called patriotism. Subsequently, I learned of war, of killing in the name of said love for nation; which confused me.
I learned of love for god, devotion and practice. Then I heard of religion, communism and I got confused again.
I learned of love for family and close ones and then I learned of divorces, and got confused, still.
There were many, many different kinds, shapes, colors, forms, sizes of love that I saw on Valentine’s day. I heard people talking about “true love”. It made me warm inside. Then I learned of pain, deceit and cheating. I got confused again.
Then I heard of a term called “Fanaa”. It is an Urdu word, which means complete annihilation of self at the hands of love. And everything made sense.
The world may have many different brands of love, many different personas. They try to trick us mainly by selling magic in the form of love and happiness. But “true love” comes with a loss of identity, complete surrender and pursuance of your love till the end.
Now many find that in a person. I wish to find it in something that outlives me. I think I have found it through writing. I find it ridiculous when people say, “An idea won’t keep you warm at night.” Well, buy a damn heater, I say. To fall in love with someone to keep yourself warm at night is not love in my books at all.
I think it is time you found yours, because die we all shall but to be destroyed in love, wallah. That is worth living for.